In a world full of quick fixes, “what I eat in a day” videos, and intense body discourse on TikTok, it’s easy to feel stuck between two extremes. Lately, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by the rise of “SkinnyTalk”—a corner of social media that seems hyper-focused on thinness, body checks, and what often borders on disordered eating.
But at the same time, I’ve also noticed an opposite movement—one that says you should love your body just as it is, never change, and ignore the desire to transform altogether.
And honestly? Neither mindset fully speaks to me.
Because I think we need a new conversation around —one that lets us hold space for growth, without shame on body image and self-compassion.
The Problem With “All or Nothing” Thinking
Let’s be real: SkinnyTalk can absolutely be toxic. It often pushes restrictive diets, glorifies disordered behaviors, and sells the idea that thinness equals worth. That’s not a healthy mindset to approach weight loss from—and it’s not sustainable either.
But on the flip side, pretending that being 400 or 500 pounds is automatically healthy because “all bodies are good bodies” is also missing something. Your worth? Unquestionable. You are deserving of love, visibility, and joy at every size. But we also need to be honest: long-term health, energy, and care for our physical bodies matter too.
Loving your body doesn’t mean refusing to change it—it means choosing to care for it. And for me, that shift started when I began thinking of my body as a garden.
Even routines like gym makeup helped me feel more confident—here’s what’s in mine.
Why the Garden Metaphor Changed Everything
I used to look at my body through the lens of urgency. I thought I had to shrink her, fix her, perfect her. But now? I realize I was never broken. I was just operating from the wrong mindset.
Now I see my body as a garden—alive, evolving, and full of quiet power.
Some days I bloom. Other days, I’m simply resting beneath the soil. And both seasons are sacred. Because growth isn’t linear, and progress isn’t always visible. It’s rooted in how we tend to ourselves.
When we look at our bodies through the lens of, we stop approaching health from a place of punishment. We move because it feels good. We nourish because we’re worthy. And we change because we care, not because we hate what we see in the mirror. Having a healthy body image and self-compassion really is the crux of self-love.
Self-Love Isn’t the End Goal—It’s the Foundation
You can love your current body and still want to feel stronger.
And you can be proud of a 40-pound loss and still aim for more.
You can admire your curves while dreaming of new definition.
And no, that doesn’t make you vain or ungrateful—it makes you human.
That’s what actually looks like in practice. It’s not passive. It’s active, rooted in truth and grace. And it’s realizing that being kind to yourself and holding high standards can coexist when it comes to body image and self-compassion
You are not betraying your current self by wanting more. In fact, that desire can be an act of love.
What It Really Means to Treat Your Body Like a Garden
This metaphor isn’t just cute or comforting—it’s a framework for how we approach growth, health, and identity.
When your body is a garden, it means there will be seasons. Sometimes you’re in a growth phase: you’re tending to your body, watering it, pruning the things that no longer serve you. To outsiders, it might look messy or chaotic. They might not understand the changes you’re making or the pace you’re moving at. But it doesn’t matter—because you know what you’re planting. You know what you’re working toward.
And more importantly, you’re not rushing it. Because gardens take time. You trust the process. You plant the seeds, water them, and wait—without panicking that you don’t see results overnight.
But when it comes to our bodies, we often abandon that patience. We feel pressure to shrink fast, sculpt faster, become more than we are before the roots even have time to take hold. The world tells us to hurry. To be visible. To prove our progress. And that pressure chips away at our self-esteem before we even get started.
You are allowed to grow slowly. You are allowed to take your time.
And here’s something else: you’re allowed to change your goals.
Maybe one season, you’re planting daisies—focusing on strength. The next season, you want sunflowers—prioritizing endurance, or softness, or stillness. You are not stuck with one version of who you are or what you want. You can shift your goals. Change your routines. Reimagine your vision. You’re not a static sculpture—you’re a living, breathing garden.
I’m currently on a self-love–focused nonfiction reading journey, exploring books that help me shift my mindset and deepen my self-worth. Check out my post, 8 Nonfiction Books for Personal Growth!
And yes, people will walk by your garden.
They’ll see it when it’s blooming and want to compliment it.
And they’ll see it when it’s barren and make comments.
They’ll pass judgment, offer unsolicited opinions, or make you feel like your garden isn’t growing fast enough.
But those people? They’re just passersby.
The people who matter are the ones who pause, ask questions, and respect the work you’re doing beneath the surface. The ones who see the beauty even in the dirt. The ones who don’t need your garden to be finished in order to value its existence.
Everyone else? Let them pass. You don’t need to explain your seasons to those who aren’t tending their own.
And this, too, is part of healing yourself—learning not to perform your growth for others. Let your garden grow quietly, intentionally, and on your own timeline. Your understanding of body image and self-compassion will blossom as you journey.
Because even in the stillness, you’re becoming.
Final Thoughts: You Are Allowed to Change and Still Love Yourself
The narrative around bodies is complicated. But here’s what I know:
- You’re not wrong for wanting to lose weight.
- You’re not broken because it’s hard.
- You’re not toxic for setting physical goals.
Need help staying consistent? Check out my Get Organized, Girl Series!
You are simply someone learning to show up for themselves in a world that thrives on extremes.
You’re the gardener and the soil. The bloom and the root. The vision and the present moment.
So water your body with love. With movement. And with new goals. With rest.
Because these ideas aren’t in conflict—they’re the foundation for lasting, meaningful change when it comes to body image and self-compassion
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