I cut my hair—and something shifted.
Not just my look, but my spirit.
It was more than just a haircut. It was a release.
A release of other people’s expectations. Of the male gaze. Of the fear that if I looked too strong, too tall, too bold, I’d be misjudged—or worse, misgendered.
As a six-foot-tall Black woman, I’ve never really been “allowed” to be soft in the ways society defines femininity. I’ve been boxed in. Told to tone it down. To shrink. But this? This was my declaration.
I cut my hair not because I stopped loving myself—but because I finally did.
Because I’m still female. I’m still feminine. And I don’t need long hair, soft tones, or societal approval to prove that.
This is me reclaiming my gender, my identity, and my beauty on my terms.
And you know what? I feel fierce. I feel bold. And I feel right.
If my haircut makes someone uncomfortable, if my energy intimidates a man—he was never my match.
I’m not shrinking to make myself more palatable anymore. I’m expanding to take up the space I was always meant to.
Embracing the Fullness of Who I Am
This self-transformation journey has forced me to confront so many layers of myself.
It’s not just about my outer appearance—it’s about finally embodying the inner truths I’ve been discovering over the years.
For so long, I molded myself into the image of what I thought a girl should be. Dainty. Cute. Easy to digest.
But that version of me was a performance. And honestly? I’m done performing.
I’m doing the work—internally and externally—to stop hiding who I really am. To accept that I’m a deep-feeling woman. That I’m not too much. That the intensity of my emotions isn’t a flaw—it’s a gift.
I’ve been surrounded by people—family, friends, and others—who couldn’t hold the weight of my fullness. And I used to think that meant I had to shrink.
Now I know better. It just means they weren’t meant to carry me.
Because loving myself fully? That’s more than enough.
S/N: If you are looking to build a community around your hobbies/interests, check out my post, How to Make Friends as an Adult with Similar Interests.
This journey is supported by reading nonfiction books for personal growth that reflect the inner shifts I’m making.
Your Life Should Revolve Around You
I used to center my life around the idea of “someday.”
Someday I’d get married.
Someday I’d settle down.
And someday someone would come along and love me the way I deserved.
But you know what? That mindset lowkey had me stuck.
Because it kept me waiting. Waiting to be chosen. Waiting to be validated. And Waiting to start living.
Now?
If someone comes along, I’ll welcome them with love. But my life will never revolve around them. It’ll revolve around me.
And I hope theirs revolves around themselves too. That way, we can meet in the middle—whole, not half.
Being a Deep-Feeling Woman Isn’t “Too Much”
Another major shift?
I stopped internalizing the lie that I was “too much.” Too emotional. Too opinionated. Way too sensitive. And too intense.
Nah. I’m just deep. I feel everything fully. I love loudly. And I care hard. And if someone can’t hold space for that, they’re not my people.
I’ve learned that I’m not “too much.” I’ve just been around people who weren’t equipped to carry all that I am. Family, friends, relationships—it doesn’t matter. Me loving me is enough.
8 Months of Becoming: My Self-Transformation Book Journey
This season of my life is about becoming. Not performing. And a big part of that will be reintroducing myself to nonfiction books for personal growth.
Over the next eight months, I’m diving into a powerful lineup of nonfiction books for personal growth—centered on self-love, healing, and mindset shifts. I haven’t read these yet, but they’ve all been carefully chosen for the journey I’m on—and if you’re in a season of transformation too, I’d love for you to join me.
Here’s my full TBR list, broken down by month and theme. Also, If you’re interested in learning more about my reader journey overall, check out my post My Reader Journey: How Reading Helped Me Grow.
(Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases—aka, your support helps keep the nerdy magic alive! 💫)
Spring Awakening: Foundations of Self-Love
April:
The Self-Love Experiment by Shannon Kaiser
This book outlines 15 principles for creating a life rooted in self-acceptance and joy. It focuses on breaking free from fear, perfectionism, and negative self-talk—something many of us struggle with. I’m starting here to set the tone for a year of intentional self-love.
May:
Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab
Healthy boundaries are essential for inner peace, and this book dives into how to build and maintain them. Written by a licensed therapist, it promises clear and practical tools for protecting your energy and well-being. I’m especially excited for this one as I work on showing up more authentically.
June:
Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
This title explores the power of accepting ourselves fully—flaws, past, and all. It blends mindfulness and self-compassion in ways that help us release shame and cultivate emotional freedom. I’m hoping this one deepens my inner healing work.
A philosophical dialogue based on Adlerian psychology, this book challenges us to take control of our own happiness. It looks like a thought-provoking read about living authentically and letting go of societal expectations. I’m adding it to June as a mindset-expanding counterpoint to emotional healing.
Summer: Bold Self-Discovery & Empowered Thinking
These next books are about clarity, creativity, and choosing yourself without apology. If you’re navigating identity shifts or chasing big dreams, these nonfiction books for personal growth are perfect summer reads.
July:
What a Time to Be Alone by Chidera Eggerue
This book combines visuals, affirmations, and unapologetic advice on embracing solitude and self-worth. I’m looking forward to how it encourages independent thinking and redefining what it means to be alone. Plus, Chidera’s voice seems bold, fresh, and empowering.
The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles by Steven Pressfield
Ideal for creatives and dream-chasers, this book explores the inner resistance that keeps us from doing meaningful work. It’s meant to help break through procrastination and fear—two things I often face in content creation. I’m reading this to spark more consistency and courage in my creative life.
August:
The Body Is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor
This book explores body liberation, self-worth, and disrupting systems of shame. From what I’ve read, it’s both political and personal, challenging how we think about our bodies. I chose it for August to shift the focus from aesthetic to radical self-acceptance.
The Psychology of Money: Timeless lessons on wealth, greed, and happiness Hardcover by Morgan Housel
A mindset book on finances, this one dives into how behavior—rather than knowledge—shapes our financial outcomes. It uses stories to show how people make money decisions and what real wealth looks like. I want to close out summer grounded in financial self-awareness and clarity.
Fall Expansion: Walking in Power and Wholeness
To finish the year strong, these last few books focus on reclaiming rest, redefining love, and walking in wholeness. If you’re looking to end the year with intention, this fall lineup offers some of the best nonfiction books for personal growth to reflect, reset, and rise.
September:
A cultural classic, this book explores love in all its forms—romantic, spiritual, and communal. Bell Hooks offers a deep and radical redefinition of what love truly is. I’ve heard it’s life-changing, and I’m ready to be challenged and inspired.
This follow-up to The Courage to Be Disliked continues the conversation on Adlerian psychology. It promises to unpack how we define happiness and why so many of us chase it in the wrong places. I’m ending September on a reflective, philosophical note.
October:
More Than Enough by Elaine Welteroth
This memoir dives into identity, ambition, and thriving in spaces that weren’t built for you. Elaine Welteroth’s journey in the media world offers inspiration for anyone forging their own path. I want to read this to connect more deeply with my own story and ambition.
November:
Rest Is Resistance by Tricia Hersey
A revolutionary take on rest as an act of liberation, this book challenges hustle culture and invites us to reclaim our time. Tricia Hersey, founder of The Nap Ministry, ties rest to healing, justice, and self-worth. I’m looking forward to slowing down with intention before the year ends.
December:
This final book is all about returning to yourself after trauma, disconnection, or burnout. Dr. Thema blends psychology and spirituality to help readers reconnect with their true selves. I couldn’t think of a better way to close out the year.
If you’d like to join me on this journey, you can grab the books through my Amazon storefront! Also, I’ve also curated tons of book lists for every kind of reader—not just nonfiction lovers.
If you are wondering how I got to this point in my journey you should check out my post, Confidence Through Self-Acceptance: The Nerdy Babe Lifestyle and How Hobbies Boost Self-Esteem: Embracing Passions for Personal Growth. Both talk about how my life began to change when I started doing the things I loved, even if they were considered nerdy. I stopped caring about what others thought and dug deep into my hobbies.
What This Journey Means (And Why I’m Sharing It) This journey is supported by reading nonfiction books for personal growth that reflect the inner shifts I’m making.
This self-transformation journey isn’t just about aesthetics.
It’s about alignment. It’s about showing up in the world as the woman I’ve always been underneath the performance.
And it’s about softness and strength.
Wholeness and boundaries.
Feeling deeply and loving fully—starting with myself.
I’m sharing this because maybe you’re on your own transformation path too. Maybe you’re tired of shrinking. Tired of waiting. Tired of feeling like you have to fit into a box you never chose.
Let this be your reminder that your life gets to revolve around you.You’re allowed to be the main character in your own story.
Over the next few months, I’ll be sharing book reflections, personal insights, and little moments from this glow-up journey.
If you’re craving alignment, authenticity, and soft power—come with me.
Happy Growing Nerdy Babe! 💕
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