I’m always telling people to dig into their hobbies.
And I realize that sounds nice, but also kind of vague.
Like… what does that actually mean?
How deep are we talking?
And why would you even want to do that instead of just enjoying the thing?
For me, hobbies have been one of the easiest ways to learn about myself without turning everything into a self-improvement project. No pressure. No five-step system. And no “healing era” checklist.
They’re just honest.
Hobbies show you what excites you, what drains you, what you avoid, what you obsess over, and what keeps pulling you back. And when you actually pay attention, they quietly tell you who you are.
My biggest example of that is reading.
My reader journey didn’t just change how I read books. It changed how I understand myself.
I Loved Reading, But I Wasn’t Reading Deeply (Yet)
In high school, I was that girl who read all the time. Like, genuinely unhinged about it. I’m talking book-a-day energy. I tore through sci-fi and fantasy, teen drama, and historical fiction erotica like my life depended on it.
I was deeply obsessed with Simone Elkeles and fully convinced Meg Cabot could do no wrong. The Princess Diaries had me laughing out loud, and once I latched onto Meg Cabot’s writing voice, I basically read everything she ever put out, even her historical romance books under her pseudoname. Same with the Drama High series and Uglies by Scott Westerfeld. If it was fast-paced, emotional, or slightly chaotic, I was in.
I even tried slower reads, though they definitely tested my patience. Sarah Dessen books come to mind. I remember being both bored and intrigued at the same time. I’d literally think, “Why is this book so long?” and still finish it anyway. Back then, DNFing wasn’t even a concept to me. You started a book, you finished the book. Period. Even if I wasn’t fully vibing, I’d power through, mentally slap a “three stars” on it, and move on to the next one.
Looking back, I wasn’t asking myself why certain books worked for me and others didn’t. I didn’t know what I needed from a story to feel emotionally satisfied. And I wasn’t thinking about pacing, tension, or character depth in any intentional way. I was just reading to read.
And honestly? There is magic in that. There’s something pure about reading just because you love stories, without analyzing every reaction or interrogating your taste. That era of my reader journey was messy, fast, and instinctual, and even though I’ve grown since then, I don’t see it as something I needed to outgrow. It was just the beginning.
Teaching (and TikTok) Changed How I Read
Things shifted when I became a teacher.
Suddenly, reading wasn’t just about enjoyment. I was reading to help other people think more deeply. I had to slow down. I had to notice patterns. And I had to explain why something worked or didn’t.
At the same time, I started talking about books online. TikTok became this chaotic, fun space where I could say all the thoughts I normally kept in my head while reading.
That combination did something to me, and I started wanting more from my reading life.
I wanted to read with intention, actually engage with the stories instead of rushing through them, and annotate in a way that felt natural and curious, not forced or pretentious.
For the first time in my reader journey, I wasn’t just asking, “Did I like this book?” I was asking, “Why did this affect me the way it did?”
If you want to learn about how I annotate my books, check out my post, How to Annotate and Rate Books!
Fantasy Confirmed Who I Already Was
Even as I started reading more intentionally, one thing never changed. I’m a fantasy girl through and through.
Fantasy showed me exactly what I’m drawn to:
- strong pacing
- high tension
- clear stakes
- constant movement
- emotional urgency
I like when something is always happening. I like pressure. And I like consequences. Fantasy validated that part of me instead of making me feel like I needed to “mature” out of it.
Digging deeper into my reader journey didn’t change my taste.
It just helped me understand it.
Romance Forced Me to Slow Down (And I Hated That at First)
Then I really got into contemporary romance. And whew… that was an adjustment.
Not because romance is boring, but because it uses a completely different reading muscle. Romance doesn’t always rely on big external conflict. A lot of the tension is internal. Emotional. Quiet.
That was uncomfortable for me.
Books like Archer’s Voice pulled me in quickly because the emotional stakes felt urgent. But something like Love, Theoretically didn’t click right away. The growth was subtle. The payoff was slower.
And that’s when I realized something important about myself: I wasn’t used to sitting with softness.
Romance forced me to slow down. It asked me to notice emotional nuance. It made me stay present instead of rushing to the next dramatic moment.
Fantasy affirmed who I already was. Romance stretched me into someone new. That contrast became a huge part of my reader journey.
Even How I Rate Books Taught Me About Myself
Once I started reading more intentionally, I noticed that even my book rating system reflected who I am.
Ratings aren’t objective. They’re personal.
They’re shaped by:
- your experiences
- your emotional triggers
- your values
- what comforts you
- what frustrates you
- what makes you feel seen
Through rating books, I learned which themes I connect to deeply, which topics I avoid and what I’m ready for and what I’m not. And the more stories I read about different lives, perspectives, and emotional journeys, the more empathetic I became.
This Isn’t Just About Reading
Reading is just my example, but this applies to any hobby.
- Knitting teaches patience.
- Running teaches discipline.
- Journaling teaches self-honesty.
- Gardening teaches care.
- Baking teaches precision.
- Anime teaches empathy and imagination.
Hobbies aren’t just escapes. They’re feedback loops.
They show you:
- what brings you joy
- what challenges you
- how you respond to discomfort
- what you avoid
- what you return to again and again
When you go deeper into your hobbies, you’re really going deeper into yourself.
Final Thoughts
Digging into my reader journey helped me think more intentionally, feel more deeply, and understand myself in ways I didn’t expect.
And the best part?
None of it felt like work.
It didn’t feel like self-improvement. And it didn’t feel like pressure. It just felt like joy, with awareness.
So if you’ve been skating on the surface of your hobbies, this isn’t a call to turn them into productivity tools or side hustles.
It’s just an invitation to pay attention. Not to be impressive. Not to be an expert. But to see what your hobbies have already been trying to tell you.
Because joy can grow you, too. 💛
Because the better you understand yourself, the more fulfilling those quiet moments of joy become.
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